if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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