So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
