Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
