You're so nebulous sometimes
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
