Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
