when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
