I must be too annoying 4 u.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
