How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
