thus making me awesome and them whores
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
