Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
