We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
