I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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