i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
