i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
