You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
