Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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