Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
