Buhtt sex?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
