I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
