If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She bit a glass in half.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
