I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
