She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
