in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize