You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
