I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
