im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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