Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
