alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
