You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize