Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize