I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
