I hate your face
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
