What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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