Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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