I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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