i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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