His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
