maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
