Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
