glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
