some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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