Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
