If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
