Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
