google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
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