girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
