Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
