Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
worst night to have a conscience
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
