My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
