she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
