dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
