Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
