You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
