Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
