My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
