Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
