We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
