its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
