Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
