you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
