Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
