i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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