I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
