Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You made out with two different species that night
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
