piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
